I have to say that I had a dream about my childhood friend this week, or more accurately it was her Dad too. He was speaking a message to me, to give to her. It was as if we were back in our childhood days, all sitting in a row. When I awoke from my dream I know this was a message for me to pass on. I can’t exactly remember all of the words he said. I shouldn’t have moved my dream journal from beside my bed!!! Lesson me again.
This past week I have been thinking a lot about my own Dad. I asked him for help when I was carrying out some DIY at Mum’s house. He helped me as he always did. I got the job done, and I think he would be proud 🙂 It is really hurting me again to think of how much he is missed, and not only by me. It’s amazing how the dynamics and feelings and even thoughts of people change just because someone is no longer here in the physical world.
I overheard a male colleague on the phone to his daughters. He often gives them a call to see how they are and tells them he will see them soon and that he loves them. This touched my heart, as my Dad used to phone me at my work, just to see how my day was going, or to invite me for dinner. I really, really miss this. When he died, I saved his voicemail messages from my desk phone, into mp3s, and now I can listen to them back at my leisure. I am lucky to have many recordings of my Dad, playing guitar, shouting at me and my sister (lovingly of course…..when we drove him crazy) and calling me at work to say Hi!
One day this week I was driving a fair bit, and it seemed that everytime I averted my attention briefly from the road ahead I was seeing my Dad’s initials. I saw these loads of times and in quick succession. These were Hello moments, and came at the right time, as I was just thinking of him and wiping the tears from my face – these little signs were prodding me and saying, get your chin up – I am right here beside you!
Also, this morning, I was having a maddy morning of grief which sometimes washes over me. Hey, who can resolve all their emotions? Not me. I need them. They remind me of what I am. Anyway, I was having a few ‘moments’ of crabbitness, but all to do with the fact that I cannot control, (nor could I) the way life has presented itself, and obviously there is a gaping big hole in the lives of all who loved my Dad. Anyway, off I went out in the car, and as I turned the engine on – there he was – my Dad, speaking to me in a voicemail message which I had saved previously. He was telling me what time it was, and that he thought it was going to rain today. He is letting me know he is still around. Just at the exact moment I needed a bit of love from him, there he was. Thank you Dad. I love you very much.
Then, on facebook one of my friends pasted this up as her status:
I’ll always need my Dad no matter what age I am. My Dad has made me laugh… wiped my tears… hugged me tight… watched me succeed… seen me fall… cheered me on… kept me going strong… and drove me a little crazy at times! But my Dad is a promise from God that I will have a friend forever! Put this on your status if you have or had a wonderful Dad! ♥
When my Dad was alive, he loved going abroad on holiday. He had put a picture on his PC wallpaper that looked just like him. In fact, it was soo like him – I asked – where was that photo taken? To which he replied- I don’t know, I just found it on the web, and it looked like me – a thinner version!!!
When Dad died, some members of my family were going to Majorca (much loved location of my Dad) when they were there, they saw a man who looked just like my Dad. Right down to his mannerisms. They couldn’t believe it! Was this my Dad popping by to say goodbye to them? Was it my Dad’s doppelganger? We will never know, but it’s a nice coincidence I think, and a story which gave me much comfort however odd it seems to anyone else.
Love you Dad xxx