When your heart feels sad

It is darkest just before the dawn, yet the darkness allows me to see the stars.

Just this week I was having a total moaner of a day. Yes, me. There wasn’t actually anything particularly wrong, but I just seemed really heavy hearted and on the verge of tears. And, everything was annoying me. EVERYTHING. When I get these feelings, I tend to lash out at those closest to me, but I have learned that this is never a good thing to do, especially because 1. they can’t fix me out of this, and 2. my feelings are mine – I have to deal. Ok Erm, 3. I love these people close to me, so don’t wanna push them all out the door running and screaming for the hills…..Yes, I can be that bad 😦 I’m sure some of you can relate xx

So there I was, being driven along, battling with the urge to cry yet not wanting to face up to the reasons I felt that way. Sound familiar? I mean, at other times I just let them fall – but some days, you have to keep them in there. Right? My very heart was wrenching in my chest and I was feeling all angry and just generally sad 😦

Then, right on time as the thoughts were abounding endlessly in my mind – a man spoke to me. In my mind. He said “You are not the victim of your circumstances, You are the creator” Clear as a bell. You know what? – I was happy mulling stuff over for the millionth time, I didn’t need some major wisdom from my angels. I’m trying to be a victim for goodness’ sake, (and I play a verrrry good one I’ve been told) You – Oh wise being are interrupting my pity-party!!!!! Leave me alone!!!

But then, as usual and really only a split second after I realised what I’d been told – I felt all fuzzy and warm, and I knew what I was being told was right. I had to hear it. I heard it. I said thank you and I immediately repeated it back to myself and realised again just how apt it was. I typed it into my phone to allow me to remember it. WOW. My thoughtstream immediately took on a new vantage point as I began to let the thoughts go as my mood lifted. You know what? I am the creator of some of my circumstance (didn’t wanna own up to it all yet……I’m slow!) and as such, I am in control of how I behave and react to this. And all is well with the world 🙂  

I’ve not posted for a while, as there are many subjects I wish to cover, but then sometimes the names might not make sense. At this time, there is a lot of cause for celebration in our lives. At this time, there is also feeling of mass change and massive emotive energies fluxing the planet. And, can I just say, those words are flowing out of me like it’s not actually coming from me at all. [start of channeling here:] These are all part of growth, dear ones. The growth steps that those who have chosen to remain on the planet for the next steps are enlightening and so far as to say that this may be somewhat painful, but is a necessary pathway into a fifth dimensional gateway. When your heart feels heavy – know only this: The love that permeates your every cell in every being is the only force in the universe tangible to your thoughts. You can turn it around dear ones, and set yourself free once you release the struggle and power struggle within, and with others. Love is the ultimate force, know that those who do seeming wrongs against you, only do so as they must follow their own path and you my dear ones, must follow your own. Your love must shine in any way you can, allow this to flow through you and release any fears to us angels. We await your call. Astara. [end of channeling]

Hi, it’s me I’m back again, yes I was right I was being channeled through there (fuzzy drunk feelings anyone?), and messages to me in there too, I resonate with this very much. This very week I awoke and said that word out loud “Astara” and as I did my daily angel oracle card reading for myself, who should appear – but – Astara – and The card said “You deserve the best! Reach for the stars with your dreams and desires, and don’t compromise”
Wow. Now I see why. How beautiful.

Another pointer along this theme this past week is – no matter how hard or bad it looks, always look at what you do have. Its a bit like the old adage, you can’t see the Stars for the sun 🙂 Ok, that was a bit creatively bad poetry. What I mean to say is this – if there wasn’t any darkness, there could be no light. Or something like that. Hands up if you know what I mean?

Being a Scorpio I have the tendency to think of any number of current life situations and play it all out to the end in my mind (oh, how depressing I can be), when really – nothing is fixed (except me sometimes….) everything always changes as this is the ebb and flow of the universal energy streams. People change, in tiny ways they can’t even percept, information lies dormant until the time is right to let it all out, some things happen and we may never know why, your heart is breaking and it seems like you have no control over anything. Even when you don’t feel like it, your team of invisible helpers are just hanging around waiting to hear from you and all you have to do is think to ask in your mind – angels, gonna lift some of my sadness today?


The truth is this – it is darkest before the dawn, but the darkness allows me to see Stars.

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